


Monster

by softlybarnes



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 16:46:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11925039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softlybarnes/pseuds/softlybarnes
Summary: The reader's mother doesn't approve of Bucky.





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

> ❤️❤️❤️

“He’s _what_?” Her mother is shaking her head in disdain.

Y/N isn’t paying attention, too caught up in talking about the man she’s fallen in love with. There’s too much happiness swimming in her veins for her to hear something negative. “He’s so sweet, mom. You wouldn’t believe what a gentle giant-,”

A derisive laugh rings out and Y/N stops talking, looking up from where her spoon is lodged in a carton of ice cream. “That’s rich, Y/N. Really funny. Now what did you _really_ come here to talk to me about?”

They’re sitting at the counter in her mother’s kitchen. Her mother is sitting stiff and cold next to her, staring over at her with a righteous judgement in her eyes. Regret fills her, she had told Bucky that this was a bad idea, that her mother wouldn’t understand, that she was too hypercritical and hateful.

Y/N doesn’t much visit her parents and for good reason. There had never been much support from her family about anything she did. But Bucky had insisted she tell them they were together. And so she had gone to do so because he had asked. It was important to him and so it had been important to her. But now, sitting across from her mother’s haughty and disapproving glare, she regrets it. She had known this is how this meeting would go, but still she had hoped. Hoped that her mother might be happy for her.

Sitting up straight in her seat and letting the spoon drop into the ice cream container, she crosses her arms and says, “That _is_ what I came here to tell you.”

“You came here to tell me that my only daughter is dating a Soviet assassin? Really, Y/N, I can’t imagine what you’re thinking! He’ll kill you or worse-,” She pauses, and takes one of her daughter’s hands, “Oh darling…is that it? Is this a cry for help? Has he hurt you in some way?” False concern resides in her eyes.

Shock runs through her as she gapes at her mother. “No! I told you-,”

But her mother is getting up, grabbing the ice cream to shove back into the freezer as she flings the spoon into the sink. “You cannot be this naïve, Y/N.” Before she can respond the other woman continues, “He’s a criminal. A violent, hateful criminal. He’s killed people. Slaughtered families. It’s disgusting that you would even entertain the idea of being in the same room with this man let alone a _relationship_.”

A shiver runs up her spine and she looks away. “It’s just absolutely repulsive, Y/N. The first chance you get you should break it off. Do it carefully though, he’s very dangerous. Were you coerced into being with him-,”

Her mother continues to rant about him even as Y/N tunes her out. About how despicable and violent and mean and disgraceful he is. Someone she doesn't even know. Her mother's voice drones on, on her long, cruel rant.

Y/N is still in shock as she tries to reconcile who Bucky is to her with this picture her mother is painting of him. Violent and cruel and vile. But Y/N knows him as quiet and sweet and afraid. Much like a large, affectionate dog. He’s terribly loving and incredibly loyal and Y/N feels anger rising in her. How dare someone assume to know anything about him?

Standing, Y/N shakes her head. “No, mother. He’s not what you think.”

“And do you know what I think? I think assassin, murderer, traitor, _monster_. Dating my sweet baby-,”

She backs away a few steps as her mother reaches out to her. “You’re wrong. He’s the best man I’ve ever known. He treats me like I’m the most important person on the planet. He makes me happy. He takes care of me. Isn’t that what you want in a man for your daughter?”

With a curl of her lip she sneers, “Not if he’s committed atrocities.”

“Mother, he was brainwashed. He didn’t-,” she cuts herself off. It doesn’t matter what she says, she won’t be changing her mother’s mind. “I’m going home.”

Scathingly, “Back to that Tower full of-,”

“My family.” Protectiveness for the group of heroes flashing in her eyes. She walks away, holding back tears as she grabs her purse and coat. Y/N thinks about going out to the yard and telling her father about Bucky but she knows his reaction will be the same. “Goodbye, mom.”

 

~

 

When Y/N gets back to the compound she can’t find Bucky anywhere. All she wants to do is wrap her arms around him and smother him in kisses. But it’s proving impossible. She wants to be snuggled safely in his arms, watching movies or reading. Even watching him workout in the gym would be preferable to just aimlessly wandering around the large complex.

It’s when she crosses paths with Steve that she knows something is wrong. A bright smile overcomes her when she sees the other super soldier, hoping he might know where his best friend is.

But he ignores her. He ignores her smile and greeting and wave.

“Steve?” She calls after him when he walks right past her. “What’s wrong?”

He comes to a sudden halt, posture stiff and unforgiving. The muscles in his back are tight with tension. “We heard you.” Steve doesn't even turn his head.

“What?”

Steve whirls. “I trusted you, Y/N. You know how fragile Bucky's mental state is. I trusted you to be a good person for him. All the while you really think he’s-,”

“Steve,” she takes a careful step forward, her voice even and slow. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“We heard you on the phone,” he seethes. “We heard what your mother said. Your silence on the matter made it very clear that you think exactly the same.”

Her head is spinning. _The phone?_ She hadn’t called them. Unless…

“Steve, I must have called you by accident.”

He glare is harsh, his defense of his vulnerable friend fierce but understandable. “Must have.” Steve’s tone leaves no room for forgiveness.

Her heart is pounding hard in her chest, unbearable anxiety threatens to choke her. “No. Did you hear the whole conversation? I defended him. I did. I don’t think or believe any of that shit she said.” She steps closer to Steve. “You know me. You know I don’t believe any of that. I love him, Steve.”

For a moment the hallway is consumed with tense silence before his shoulders drop and he shakes his head. “You do?” He asks quietly.

“God,” she whispers. “Isn’t it obvious? I love him so much it hurts some days. Does everyone think I’m heartless and conniving? That I’ve been-,”

Steve has suddenly engulfed her in a hug, strong arms wrapped around her. “We didn’t want to but what we heard…So many people think those things about him. I didn’t expect it from you. Bucky certainly didn’t. What other people believe doesn’t bother him but people like me and you…he trusts us to believe in him, believe that he’s good.”

Her fingers hook in the back of his shirt, “I do believe that. I really do. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have ever started anything with him. I wouldn’t do that to someone. I love-,”

Another wave of anxiety hits her as she looks over Steve’s shoulder and sees Bucky, who has just heard the end of her admission to Steve and nothing else. Upon meeting her eyes he immediately bolts. “Bucky!” She releases Steve and darts after him. “Buck!”

A door slams.

She heads in that direction, stopping before the door to his living quarters, fruitlessly trying the handle. “Buck,” Y/N whispers, forehead thumping against the door. “Please. Please let me explain.”

There isn’t a response but she can hear him breathing shallowly through the door. “Baby, it’s not how it sounded. Steve told me you heard part of the conversation and this is exactly why I hadn’t want to tell my parents. They’re terrible. I knew they wouldn’t-wouldn’t approve of you. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.”

The door is suddenly thrown open and she’s pulled roughly inside, pushed harshly into the wall. His arms cage her in. “Tell me what you think of me, Y/N. Tell me what a monster I am. Tell me what a criminal I am. And then go tell my _best fucking friend_ that you love him.”

“I don’t-I’m not…I-,”

His fist comes down on the wall next to her head. It isn’t hard but it still makes her flinch and recoil. “Tell me,” his voice is soft now rather than the hard rasp it had been before. “Why would you be my friend and go on dates with me and kiss me and tell me that you care? When you hate me? When you think I’m some terrible-,”

Y/N presses her hand to his cheek and despite himself, it calms him. “I don’t. Please, listen.” He stares into her eyes. Fear and curiosity reside there, as well as desperation. Bucky needs her to explain it.

“Please,” he whispers. Because he wants to trust people again, and besides Steve Y/N had been the first person her allowed close to him. A complete breakdown of trust is happening right before his eyes. Already he wants to sink back into himself, create that protective shell around himself, protect his soul from further damage even if it means loneliness.

“Remember what I told you? That you shouldn’t worry about it because my parents are horrible? I meant that. I-,” She almost says _I love you_ but bites her tongue at the last second. They’ve only been together a few months and she doesn’t want to scare him away. Although, it’s possible she’s already done so. “I don’t think the same things they do. I know you. I see you. I know who you are.”

His arms fall away from the wall and he stumbles backward blindly, in the general direction of his bedroom. Y/N follows carefully, trying to avoid startling him in his fragile state. “Buck?”

“Doll,” he murmurs, flopping down onto his bed. “You sound just like your mother. Did you know that? I heard her voice in my ear, whispering _criminal and violence and monster_ and I thought it was you. Steve had to point out it wasn’t. And for a moment I was relieved because what she thinks doesn’t matter but then I realized you hadn’t said anything to contradict her and I panicked again. I hung up. And now you love Steve.” He pauses, meets her eyes. "Which makes sense."

She moves away from the doorway to sit on the edge of the bed. Gently, she lays her fingers against his shoulder. “You didn’t hear everything. And I don’t love Steve.”

“What?”

“I don’t love Steve. And I’m sorry. I told her, Buck. I told her what a good person you are. So sweet and kind and loving. I told her you were loyal and that you make me feel like I’m the only person in the world for you. She didn’t care. She thinks she knows you. I tried to tell her Bucky.”

He pulls her down onto his chest. “It’s hard.”

“I know.”

“It’s hard to trust people. I trust you. And I had thought…I had thought that you...that maybe you had lied. And that I am everything she said. The scariest part though was thinking about you coming home and breaking it off with me, telling me these things yourself.” He brings his hand up to cover hers. “I didn’t want to let you say it because it meant it was true.”

A longing and sadness suddenly fills her. “It’s not true. It will never be true.” Y/N takes her hand away only to wrap her arms around his neck and curl into him on the bed. “You’re brave and resilient and kind and wonderful.” She pecks his collarbone, “And I am very lucky to have you, to be able to call you mine.” A pause strains the air, “That is…if you still want me. I know my family-,”

"They aren't you." He brings her face away from his neck, tilting her head just right, thumb pressed into her chin, so that he can kiss her. “Of course I do.” His lips meet hers again, ever so carefully, tongue skimming along the seam of her lips before he pulls away again. “But tell me, baby. If you weren’t saying I love you to Steve then what were you about to say?”

She swallows thickly and considers refusing to answer, but she thinks he might need to hear it. Y/N certainly feels it. “I was going to say, ‘I love him.’. And he is you. I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. And I know it’s a little early in the relationship to be saying that but it’s true and-,”

Warm lips find hers again, silencing her. “I love you, Y/N. More than you’ll ever know, babydoll. I love you.”

“I don’t think those things. I'm not my mother.”

“I know.”

“I’ll never think them.” She presses her lips to his forehead.

“I know.”

She starts to say something else when Bucky shushes her. “I know. And I love you.”

“I love you.” She murmurs one last time, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

He knows.


End file.
